Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Melancholy Feelings

Melancholy feelings swirl in my heart and my soul, until like a shaken aluminum can of soda that erupts when opened, so my feelings too are at the explosion point and I must write them into words as I unlatch my heart.

My beautiful girl has been home for the past couple of days, taking a much needed break from her summer internship. The reality of being away and being alone really hit her on the 4th of July. She spent the evening sitting on the beach reading her book as she watched families enjoying cookouts and playing games together. Her meal highlight was a baked potato when she got back to her little bungalow house. We rectified that on Monday night by having hot dogs on the grill, roasted potatoes and blueberry salad. We finished the evening by having quality family time watching America Ninja Warrior together on television.


Mallory and I have spent the last two days shopping, lunching at new to us restaurants, and enjoying lovely life conversations over mochas and lattes at local coffee houses. It is so nice to go exploring with her, something that we did on a regular basis back when she was in high school.

It is so easy for me during the course of a normal week to stay home and putter about the house. Never going out to explore, to have those experiences that fuel my writing. It is not very exciting writing about painting your walls or moving your laundry from the washer to the dryer.


This morning we made a quick stop at the Farmer's Market to top off her cooler of "from home goodness" with some fresh blueberries and a cookie for her snack at work this afternoon. Then it was time to say goodbye again, send her on her way northward. This summer may be hard for her being away and being alone, but I know that through this experience she is growing and learning so much about herself. This journey is helping to shape her future.

So even though there is a flutter of melancholy feelings in my heart and a tear in my eye every time she leaves, I know she is becoming exactly who she is meant to be.

26 comments:

  1. heartfelt for sure...both of you are shaping a new future...more lies ahead for each of you...
    (drat - the dryer buzzer just went off...time to fold laundry...!)

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  2. Feeling for you my friend, it's always hard to say goodbye. You have such a wonderful relationship with your girl that even though you are not together you will always be together in your hearts...

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  3. I look forward to having those experiences with my little one some day. Thinking of you. :)

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  4. I really feel for you Sarah. I look at my 14 year old daughter and I dread the day that she will eventually tell me that she is going on her adventure of life. It's so lovely that you have such a close relationship and can spend those precious brief moments together. xx

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  5. Just said goodbye to my daughter as she heads back to Pittsburgh after being home for the weekend. It's hard every time, but she's happy so all is good :-)

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  6. Sending hugs. Good you wrote, that always helps. Sweet photo of her too. Put that up on the fridge-it will make you feel better.

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  7. Yes, so it goes with grown-up children. They become independent and autonomous - and then we know we have fulfilled our parenting roles. It is hard to say goodbye. I know, I have a son who lives on another continent! A lovely photo of your girl!

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  8. So great when they come home and such sad quiet when they go away again.

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  9. These times are both wonderful and very hard. Having your daughter leave is something you remmember forever. A big adjustment. one nice thing about photography for me is that it triggers me to go out looking for something to photograph. Other than the laundry etc. LOL. Your daughter is just lovely and so glad that you had this good quality time together. Hope you have a puppy.... my two dogs took the place??? of my two girls when they grew up and now they are my babies and are so much company. Hugs to you! I know just how you are feeling

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  10. Beautifully written Sarah! A true mother and daughter love, and long lasting relationship. That is priceless.

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  11. Hard to let go and see their struggles...but only in letting go can they truly fly! Glad you have such a wonderful relationship. Well written.

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  12. Such a lovely piece. We sent our first off to college last fall and I wasn't prepared for how hard it was. It's so nice that you all have such a special relationship though, and I'm sure that will keep her grounded in her adventures. We just have to keep in mind that our lives are still adventures too -- even with the laundry. Hope you are both feeling more peaceful. : )

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  13. It's so true, Sarah, everything you just wrote. The mother-daughter bond is so very precious and we tend to feel what they're feeling - sometimes even more so. Mallory is growing and learning so much - and you are, too. Letting them grow into the person they're meant to be is one of a mother's hardest lessons. You're doing great! Keep up the awesome work!

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  14. Ane even after they grow, get married, have kids and come visit for the weekend...it always makes me sad to wave to the car until it is out of sight...many hours pass before I can bring myself back to the present and move on....it'a all good though...and by the way, my kids live close by...but when we are in Maine it's difficult..
    Your doing such a great job with each other...love will survive.

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  15. Sounds like you and Mallory had a great time when she was there! I know how hard it is to watch them drive away! Sending hugs!

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  16. I sure know what you feel. When my daughter left home to live on her own and attend college it was so hard for me to have her gone . Still she was home from time to time and now she is going to have her own baby. It all takes time. Sending many hugs

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  17. Lovely writing. I really feel for you. Sending love. x

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  18. Tender, beautiful, melancholy . . .
    I love that when I "read" you . . . I remember back to "meeting" you . . .
    Such SOUL you have . . .

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  19. The mother/daughter bond is so strong...when they struggle, we struggle. I loved reading your very real post, and completely related to what you were feeling. I'm glad Mallory got some family time at home to boost both your spirits!

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  20. You expressed so poignantly what we as parents feel as our children come and go from our lives. I too will be feeling this melancholy as my boys journey back to their own lives next week. Thank you for your words as I believe they will be so helpful when I find myself once again home alone.

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  21. Oh this was so good! Melancholy is the perfect word.

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  22. I whispered to myself many a time what a good job I did as a mother when my children were able to live independently. But at what a cost to our no longer having them at hand, right?

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  23. Oh, I swear I could have written this!
    I always thought that each time I said good-bye to my son I never has, and I don't think it ever will. as he headed back to school, that it would somehow get easier. It never has.

    We "borrow" them for such a short period of time.

    This was a truly beautiful post, and I so enjoyed reading it, and realizing that I am not the "only one."

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  24. Sarah, this takes me back to the days when my daughter went away to college. When she came home, however briefly, we always had such a wonderful time together. Every single time, I cried when she left again. And every single time, it took me by surprise. Thinking of you and sending hugs.

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  25. What a lovely post.
    Enjoy every moment!
    diane @ thoughts and shots

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  26. I know this is what I was feeling after my daughter and grandbaby left. It's amazing what happens to your kids when they return home...you can really be friends with them...you're always mom...but you true friends.

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Thank you so much for visiting today and taking the time to read my thoughts on life. :)