Wednesday, July 27, 2016

A Good Marriage


July 19, 1986 finds me exactly one month into my eighteenth year of life, I am standing on a green carpeted stage in my $150, off-the-rack, chin to toe, polyester and tulle wedding dress. Carefully pinned to my head is a swooping, wide-brimmed polyester and tulle Southern belle style hat. Next to me stands a fresh-faced boy of nineteen dressed in light gray tails. Sweat beads up on both of our foreheads and trickles down the sides of our faces, tunneling under high collars and continuing its downward descent. The nasty beads of moisture don't come from nervousness, but rather from the stifling humidity inside the small country church.


We certainly had no idea what we were getting ourselves into on that ninety degree day thirty years ago. We were anxious to get the ceremony and the reception over with so we could get to our hotel in Grand Rapids for the start of our weekend honeymoon trip. Our first destination when we got to the hotel wasn't what you would think, it was the pool, so we could finally rinse the sweat from our bodies.


When a friend a recently asked what our secret was when I told her we were going to be celebrating our 30th Anniversary, I told her in all honesty - It's a lot of hard work. The mushy hand holding of the honeymoon year quickly wears off, and that is when you have to dig deep to constantly find things you can share in together.

Raising a child together doesn't make things magical, that is when the really hard work begins. You each want the best for your child, but often that "best" is not arrived at in the same manner. My advice to any married couple with young kids - no matter what, find a way to have a date night once a month, and don't talk about the kids while you are on the date. Your marriage will be blessed because of that stolen time together. That is one thing I wish we had done better.


Last week we celebrated our 30th Anniversary. Instead of going to our comfort place of beautiful, rural northern Michigan, we chose to step out of our comfort zone and spend five days in the very alive city of Toronto. We spent our first real vacation twenty-seven years ago there. The only things we remember about that trip were that our car broke down on the way there, we went to Niagara Falls first, when in Toronto we stayed somewhere downtown near the Maple Leaf Garden, we had no credit card, and according to Glen, we walked three hours each way to Casa Loma.

This trip was a bit better. We didn't go to Niagara Falls first, our car did make a strange noise but didn't break down, we stayed downtown just off of Yonge Street in a beautiful hotel, we do have credit cards, and the walk to Casa Loma only took 1 hour and 5 minutes according to Google Maps.


It was good to go to a new place, working together to figure out what we wanted to do, and how to get there without killing each other in the process. Glen was an extremely good sport as I dragged him down side streets to photograph doors on old buildings, and into Catholic churches to photograph stained glass windows and church pews, and even stalking colorfully dressed ladies sitting on park benches. In return, I tried a mussel, drank a whiskey he selected for me, tried new beers, and returned to diner style restaurants every morning for breakfast.


I think I taught him a bit of what the world looks like through my eyes, and he taught me a bit of what the world looks like through his eyes. After thirty years it is still a good marriage.


15 comments:

  1. Congratulations on you anniversary. By today's standards that is recorded. Me and my wife are 19 years ahead of you guys. I wish you two all the luck in catching up. :)) From what I have read here today I think you know that luck has nothing to do with.

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  2. I appreciate the honesty in this post, Sarah. Congratulations and happy anniversary.

    You were so close by, wish we could have met for lunch or something!

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  3. Don't you love falling in love with the same man over & over again? I know that you two have a strong connection & I know that you have both worked hard for all that you have.
    Congratulations on 30 years - God's blessings for many more years of love, laughter & honesty.
    We celebrate 36 years this year - whoa!

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  4. It's amazing what two good people working together to good purpose can do. Congratulations! I'm very happy for you - and more than a tiny bit envious! May you continue to be so blessed for many years to come.

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  5. Congratulations Sarah...keep working it. This year is 48 years for us and we still find fun in each other and have let go of all the silly stuff for the most part. Yes, there are days...when I wonder how we ever made it this far...but I also know that I would not be who I am without him...and just so you know, we did have date night every Saturday night. I was fortunate that my Mom took our kids...sometimes it was just going for a cup of tea or a beer an looking through the magazine rack at Stop and Shop...but we did connect...and Saturday nights have changed to Friday nights now that we are retired...always find the good in each other...

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  6. Congratulations, Sarah! I so admire you both.

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  7. What a lovely post, Sarah!
    I wish you both a very Happy Anniversary.

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  8. Looks like you had a wonderful time. It is great that you are both very happy with each other and still growing. Wishing you both many more years to come!

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  9. What an absolutely beautiful tribute to you both. Happy Anniversary Glen And Sarah! xo

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  10. Happy anniversary to me! We were both married in the month of July. (the 21st for us) Marriage does require work and determination to get through the tough times! But, it's worth it!

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  11. Congratulations on your 30th wedding anniversary! I love that second shot of your wedding day. You are both so young and yet here you still are! Well done for making your marriage work! How nice to go back to Toronto and spend some time there like you did all those years ago.

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  12. Your 30th celebration sounds so exciting and fun Sarah! Congratulations on 30 years! It truly is a mark of hard work, and a lot of love. Happy Anniversary to you both!!

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  13. A lovely snapshot of a good marriage, Sarah... congratulations, and happy anniversary!

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  14. Thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts on social media communicating.
    You have painted a true picture of what marriage is all about (44 years for us) and that is hard work. It takes great willpower to carry on when things are not going well at all which young people today don't appear willing to do.
    Glad you enjoyed your anniversary in Toronto which is just over an hour south of our rural area - always lots to see and do there.
    Belated anniversary wishes, hope you celebrate many more!

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  15. You were married on my birthday!!! Congratulations.

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Thank you so much for visiting today and taking the time to read my thoughts on life. :)